It was a beautiful spring day in Suerne, perhaps one of the happiest days of my life. Though still a comparatively young man I had acquired three wives and a fine family. It was openly whispered that one day I would become the leader of my people. The air was clear and warm, fragrant with the perfume of early spring flowers. Colour was everywhere, from the brilliant banks of blossoms set in emerald green grass, to the blue of the sky. It was a happy time and the peace of the land surely overflowed into the heart of the observer.

A special joy and excitement filled the air for a few of my colleagues had received word on the previous evening that the Enlightened One would take one of his rare walks among the people: Dressed as one of them, and therefore not to be readily recognised, unless it be by his bearing. We few who were able to read auras without instrument, prepared to delight in easy recognition. Indeed it was for the rare opportunity of being able to study the aura of one so illustrious during an off guard moment that we could hardly contain our pleasurable excitement.

Having received word of this event, together with an indication of the proposed route, my friends and I had stationed ourselves upon a flat rooftop overlooking the street by which the Enlightened One was scheduled to pass.

The leader of our people -- The Enlightened One -- was the son of a leather worker. He made the final decisions on all matters of state policy, and spiritual matters, having been chosen for his demonstrated ability and knowledge. Now well advanced in years, he embodied the ideal of all Kheans. What aurotic splendour we would behold as he passed by!

We had selected a house with a flat roof for our vigil. The overhang of the roof extended some three feet beyond the walls of the house, a common custom designed to shade the walls from the direct rays of the summer sun. In this particular house a low parapet had been built around the outside edge of the roof as decoration and some protection. Perhaps a previous owner had sat there with his small children playing about him, I know not, only that such a parapet was unusual. We had selected this site because of it, and had chosen a place where we might sit comfortably, awaiting the moment of the leader's passing without drawing attention to ourselves.

Being uninformed of the time of day when the Enlightened One would take his stroll, we had gathered at dawn, and leaving one of our group always posted near the edge of the roof to keep a look out for his approach, the remainder sat at ease chatting and laughing.

One man recounted the known facts of the leader's life. We discussed his scientific achievements, his good works, his participation in Khe's spiritual advancement, the beauty of his bearing, the calm of his features. Such stories served only to further our anticipation, and soon each preconscious was becoming over excited.

Time passed with seeming slowness, impatience adding its subtle spur to our growing restlessness. Finally when the watchers urgent ejaculation "Here he comes" burst out, we rushed forward in a single body.

In retrospect it is easy to see how eagerness overcame caution, with myself in particular, for I had a great respect for the knowledge this man had acquired. He represented the epitome of my ambitions, for he was able to serve The Master better than any of my people. To have visualized such an aura would have taught me a great deal about self improvement.

But the inflamed physical mind blotted out all spiritual warnings. As I sprang I forward I stumbled. My body came into heavy contact with the parapet, a portion of which broke away. I fell into the street below where my body lay in an inert, ungainly position, the neck broken. After having a sensation of falling I felt nothing.

At the moment of death, the essence and the aura separated from my body and there were three of us; two looking down at the lifeless form of the third who had been Loliad in the flesh. Each of the two onlookers wondered momentarily what they were doing standing free of the flesh, which did not rise to greet the great Metaphysical Leader of Khe. As a crowd gathered our leader approached. Gently he moved the people aside, his bearing commanding respectful acceptance of his right to move to the front. He glanced briefly at the lifeless figure on the ground before him. His lips pursed momentarily, then glancing upwards his magnificent brown eyes focused themselves directly upon the two of us standing side by side rather aimlessly; he spoke.

"Thou hast no more need of me Loliad, for the teacher has now become thy pupil. Goodbye my friend, we shall meet no more."

With these words, spoken as into the air, the leader turned away from us. Head high, a look of deep compassion on his face, he moved in the direction from whence he came, the people parting once more to allow free passage.

I, the aura, felt a very strong desire to hasten after him, feeling the need to console him, for it is painful for the aged to see promising youth slip away unfruitful. I did in fact take a step or two forward, then turned back to find myself alone. My inner power, my essence was gone, I knew not where.

Even though my teaching had prepared me for this situation it felt somewhat strange to be standing alone, unseen by those about me ... yet my inspiration, our leader, had seen me.

Then my colleagues arrived on the scene, and two of my friends, more advanced in metaphysics than the others, looked down at my body then directly up at me saying. "Loliad, we are sorry for this thing at our feet, but happy for thee. No longer needst thou leave the body in custody to search for the education thou so passionately desire. Would that we could accompany you on your journey. Perhaps we shall meet when we come to thee, though I know not how to locate thee ..."

I stood silently, being unable to reply. For I was not yet accustomed to communication without the aid of a preconscious or conscious mind. My thoughts turned to my family, my wives and dear children. Immediately I was at home. The pet animal looked up at me, wagging its tail with such violence it threw itself sideways, so familiar were the vibrations emitted.

Projecting my thought power towards my family, I managed a brief communication with their spiritual counterparts, which translated into conscious thought an awareness of my demise before any other could bring the news to them. We were a very close family and they turned to each other in their grief.

Being no longer required within the family group my thoughts turned to Zadius, my lifelong friend and companion in spiritual adventure. Zadius was temporarily away from the city at this time. He had elected to remain a bachelor and travelled widely. When he was in Suerne, my home was Zadius' home.

So thinking, there I was behind him, trying to breathe heavily down the back of his neck as had so often happened in the past. He was instantly aware of my presence. He turned about to be greeted with the thoughts. "Greetings my Zadius, it is, Loliad".

Even as his eyes stung with grief, his ever ready humour masked any emotion as he replied.

"So you are the first; how did you do it?"

"I fell."

"You fell! How ignominious. Take care my friend or you will fall from heaven and come to a worse end ..."

And so we parted. Zadius, warm and intelligent, always finding humour as a cloak for deep emotion, had used it sometimes a little too liberally. What an asset he was to The Master's work. How often I find him reflected in my present pupil. He, like she, put forth every effort of which he was capable into human evolution, never sparing himself. His personality was such that he was loved for himself alone wherever he went. But his heart belonged to The Master, and this love and humility radiated from him like a flame of fire. Children adored Zadius, and I'm afraid their older sisters and mothers did likewise, which helped him not one iota in his constant battle with Ego.

His charm pervades my memory to this day. Once, when we were quite young, not yet gone to Atlantis, Zadius said to me. "I wonder if you or I will ever become famous?" Neither of us did. But Zadius' profile is the one chosen to illustrate THE INNER POWER, so belated as it may be, that head may still attain a deserving modicum of fame!

I wandered off alone. Still in "spirit" my thoughts and emotions were bound to Zadius I hesitated to go on, needing to relive our experiences.

During the period when Zadius and I were studying Metaphysics in Atlantis, it was deemed essential to have a comprehensive knowledge of social, physical and spiritual law, which in all covered a vast field.

To test our individual knowledge Zadius and I used to sit, sometimes for hours, one silent while the other related every scrap of information he knew concerning these laws, delving into the many facets in which they were rooted.

Sometimes the discussion would be on the subject dearest to both of us, when every known fact would be aired. Twenty-four hours was no uncommon session. I once held Zadius silent, though perhaps not spellbound, for five full days and nights with water as our sole sustenance. Such was my friendship with Zadius.

During the course of my earthly education I had been privileged to "pass through" on many occasions. Not all metaphysical students had success in this endeavour, and much of mine was due to the wisdom of our most reversed teacher who, in these well remembered words, had stressed the vital importance of inner development as opposed to learning.

"To me it has been given of Supreme Being, to teach thee those things that are without, being as they are of no avail to the voice within, except that you may better understand that voice. The knowledge that comes from without may fade away, but inner understanding is imperishable. Herein your passport to the Spirit World ..."

For a normal adult it is impossible (well almost impossible) to attain the degree of purity of thought required to "pass through". With humanity in its present state of confusion, even newly born earthlings have a great deal to overcome in such a quest. But this need not be cause for alarm or despair. Though unattainable to present generations, those who follow will become successively stronger, until transition from the physical to the spiritual dimension will be freely accessible to all. From henceforth each generation should be living for the improvement of the next, so giving collective purpose to life.

When each individual adult examines every thought, word and deed to see whether these will have a beneficial effect on the younger generation, censoring anything which fails to meet this requirement, the tide of human evolution will turn, gathering momentum with each passing decade.

I, Loliad, with the help of wonderful teachers and with much personal effort, had "passed through" the veil many times. But in each instance it had been as a visitor beholding afterlife. Now, in death, I had come to stay.

I paused upon the threshold, slightly bewildered. Hadn't experience shown me others who, having died, were living out their dreams of greatest desire? Why did I then hesitate? Having previously been Shawn others in remorse for gross earthly errors what had I to fear? Had I not given my all? Was my purity not so complete that I had crossed this borderline before, then gone back?

Knowing how others glowed in a state of ecstasy when preparing to leave the Outer Darkness to enter upon the First Level of Understanding, surely I could anticipate nought but joy and happiness in my new dimension. Why then was I hesitating?

Many hold back, many know fear, some, even yet, tend to think of revenge. But most new arrivals are in the throes of self pity, having lost something they had come to consider part of themselves. Mournfully they repeat over and over again. "This is not what I was taught on Earth to expect of afterlife."

Some are engrossed in misplaced affection. Like the parent who hates to leave the vicinity of a beloved child. Usually those contacted at seances, having passed into the dimension of spirit, have halted for some reason or another and are held between Earth and the Outer Darkness.

Yet knowing all this and much more, still I hesitated, reluctant to surge ahead. Devoid of body, at a vibrational scale too high to be contained in flesh, yet still part of that body since I could manifest myself to friends at will. But what profiteth they if I do so? Did I know more now than before to give to them? Why then this reluctance to depart?

The answer came to me like a sudden burst of light, I simply knew the reason.

I had carried into after life a fear of which my physical consciousness had bee quite unaware. Scientist, Metaphysician, Teacher, Student; being all these it was natural though not spiritual for me to carefully analyse this fearful reaction.

Had I not lent myself to many experiments, the outcome of which could have brought an abrupt end to my life ... without question? Yes, but my life had been dedicated to a study of the world of spirit. No, it was not fear of death that was holding me back. I had been "dead" before.

Thus I sat theorizing, trying to find a cause for my nameless feeling of apprehension, knowing full well that fear is an effect.

Then I became aware of a good deal of activity going on all about me; though I was alone, enclosed on all sides by a gossamer veil that permitted the sound of motion by many others to penetrate, but was impenetrable by me, being opaque. Thus I was aware of the activity but not part of it.

Loliad, the scientist, wanted to insist that the surrounding activity should be part of my study, suggesting that this would enhance my powers of comprehension regarding my own dilemma. Yet I was held to immobility, aware of neither hunger nor thirst, fascinated to watch as a kaleidoscope of my life's events passed before me. Every emotion experienced was relived, sometimes over and over again, with no apparent sequence of events.

Gradually, after much repetition, many of these pictures and their accompanying emotions took on a slightly different aspect as I relived the original event. A spoken reply, thought, sight, sound or odour etc. This subtle change was brought about by my own slightly changing attitudes. A reply worded to give a slightly shifted emphasis on the meaning; a thought put into practise with a more willing attitude.

These emotional experiences took me from the birth pangs received by my mother as I entered the world, to my sensations at a hasty departure. I "saw" the thoughts my mother had been thinking as I lay in her womb. I realised how my own puny little mind had been influenced by her wisdom and how, in later life it had been like the root of a word that had changed its meaning, spelling and usage through many generations.

Through this process of living and reliving again in truth, it was made clear to me that I had been guilty of giving more to one than to another. Had taken from those who offended my earthly senses and given more to others whom I especially admired, or who could slake my personal thirst for knowledge. I had thought the "Enlightened One" superior; thus by the same token must have considered others inferior -- though Ego would never reveal this subtlety.

I realized that in a few cases I had given nothing, and had received less than nothing; for that which I had to give them was taken away from me, and now was the time to balance the ledger of my earthly activity.

At the beginning of a lifetime each is given the power to love as Supreme Being bestows a spark of Himself. This power is not according to Nature's standards, for the physical has no standard beyond varying degrees of like. Spiritual love might be termed the King of emotions, for all other scales of emotion are subservient. And because are emotion is a magnetic vibration, endowed by Spirit, it has greater vibrational strength than natural emotions which cannot go beyond the Black Light scale (985 + 1015 V.P.S.)

In spiritual love the power of Spirit is involved, therefore there can be no emotional experience surpassing this love. This being so, one cannot ration the emotion by giving more to one and less to another, and none at all to some. In attempting to do this, one takes from all alike, for the purity of love cannot entertain any thoughts of inequality of distribution. Therefore mine had been a loveless life.

And so I learned that to experience the emotion of real love one must give to all alike. Any who offends the senses (Ego) commits an offence against Nature's product, like. Thus no spiritual harm is done except to the perpetrator of the offence who is giving nothing, therefore loses that which he once had to give. For unexercised talents deteriorate and are taken away.

There is no harder lesson for humanity to grasp than the concept of love as embodied in Love.

Clouded as the preconscious is, ego, must first be satisfied that there is personal advantage to be gained before it will give. Living by its "likes" Ego must first be satisfied. But spirit does not release the emotion of love for the benefit of Ego: only for the benefit of another spirit. Any personal satisfaction to the receiver or the giver is coincidental. However the release of this emotion becomes significant in that it is returned, not necessarily by the recipient, but by the Originator.

"As thou doest unto the least of these, so hath thou done it unto Me". He explains. Any vibration of love then, is returned in overflowing measure that the giver may have more talent to give.

Ego distorts emotion for self-advantage or self-satisfaction. Spirit dispenses its vibrations in humility, seeking no return but the joy of giving.

Had Zadius been with me at this time it would have been as in our younger days when we discoursed for hours at a time. For here was a truth we had not fully explored. Alas Zadius was not with me.

Thinking of him caused me to re-examine myself once again with this new facet of understanding now at my command, enabling me to understand my feeling for Zadius from an emotional viewpoint.

Now it came to me that my fear and hesitation stemmed from my feeling for Zadius. I had endeavoured to give him more than to any other, and in so doing had created an emotional fear; not for Zadius, but for the lose to myself at our parting.

I saw how, on my part, our friendship had deteriorated. My bondage to Zadius' attentive respect had never been a conscious awareness. I remembered the requirements of our tutors in early childhood, that we form no individual friendships with other pupils; their wisdom was beyond our ken and so we chose to ignore this advice.

On reliving our association, I realised that Zadius had been aware of my weakness yet had kept this a closely guarded secret, (the degree of harmony we shared made the consciousness of either readily available to the other). How much better a man he was in this respect; for all my obvious brilliance in the art of understanding human psychology.

Zadius knew true humility both before Spirit and fellow man. While I knew humility to Deity and any fellow man who proved himself more knowledgeable than I -- respecting intellect before equality.

My friend had known love; this realization instigated a further self-searching session in relationship to Zadius' life, which soon brought to light the fact that love was not only giving but also forgiving. Zadius had forgiven my trespasses against him without ever mentioning it.

If forgiving is also an aspect of love, then to forgive must also release the maximum emotion. Here an act that satisfies Ego to the utmost, yet keeps it still the servant. To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget, quite contrary to logic, remembering the forgiveness adds to the strength of the love expended in forgiving.

Once more revelation seemed to burst upon me, as I saw, for the first time, the deeper meaning of Divine Justice. In understanding the true purpose of forgiveness, I realised that not to forgive is an injustice to self, creating emotional bondage which in no way cripples the unforgiven. But at the same time, I knew that to forgive does not expiate the deed requiring forgiveness, for this must still be atoned for by the perpetrator. Thus forgiveness brings joy. But grave spiritual insult lies in any faint hankering for revenge.

With this last revelation still fresh in my mind, it seemed as if a weight was lifted from me. I rose up, no longer hesitant; but eager to pass through the now parted veil into light. I knew Love.

Great astonishment dawned upon me on discovering that I was past my period of remorse and now ready for the first of seven levels.

How much time had elapsed you might wonder. Time? Time is relevant only to the actions of the body; no more than a yard stick, a measure of things experienced during its lapse. Where does time fit into the lifespan of the lesser creatures with scarcely more than a few hours or days in which to live out their life cycle?

In retrospect time means no more than its relativity to the lifespan. In eternity, time becomes totally irrelevant. In Earth years however, I had now been dead for nearly one thousand years.

Never fear to pass over into the spiritual dimension my friends. Here your dearest desires are realized ... forever if you so wish. Yours is the free choice. The only anguish or punishment will be self imposed while in the outer darkness. For the one prerequiste for entrance to the first level of the Spiritual World is an understanding of Love.

Death negates time. The pity is not that any length of time must be spent in Outer Darkness, where a thousand earth years might pass as a moment, ten thousand years as a day. The pity is that so many thousand years have passed and the highly rated intelligence of man has led him so little distance along the road of understanding that he not only hesitates in Outer Darkness, but misses so much of the intended joys of life on earth.

Man's potential ability is still largely incomprehensible to him. Faith alone could make a giant out of any individual. Faith in self, combined with an even greater faith in one's Guide. Deity does not require that you first put faith in Him. He knows that many unfoldings of consciousness are necessary for Him to become comprehensible to humanity. The Guide hovers as a mediator twixt man and Master. Faith implicitly placed in the Guide is as faith in Him.

Listen to your Guide. He will teach you that in life, love is giving and forgiving in thought, word and deed. Any less achievement is a clear indication that you err and have never experienced the joy of loving despite all egotistical protestations to the contrary.